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forever & always chapter 2 : a prequel to broken arrow
amyconner1985 wrote in fanverse
 “Elena, Elena, Elena. I wish I could write you poetry, write verses in your praise; exult your beauty. I wish I could speak eloquent Latin, recite from classics. I wish I could use sappy lines, and compare you to Helen of troy; which btw is another form of your name. I wish I could do all of those. But I can’t. All I know, all I can offer, is my blood, in exchange; if you will have me. I wish I were a song bird. I could sing soft melodies, sitting on the branches outside your window. I wish I could see your smiling face, radiant like sunshine, gleaming with hope & promise every day. But I am not, not even a humming bird. I am but a crow that scared you, the first day we met. My voice isn't pure. My body is black, as my soul. It’s ironic, that I should turn into a bird signifying my own darkness: a black crow. I hope you could see though; I loved you from the day we met, the moment I felt my heart beat inside my chest. It hadn't happened in years. Elena, I wish I could scream & you could hear my pain. It’s so excruciating, sometimes I wonder, why it doesn't kill me. More agony awaits me, for I have sinned. I know my little incumbent brother appreciates you, appreciates the inherent good in you. I am aware I am but a grim, a menace that could corrupt you. I can't give you the gift of morning sun. I am a creature of darkness, you are my princess. I could only offer you; a part of me, that's still human, knowing it’s not much. It’s not enough. But the longing doesn't cease. The pain doesn't go away. I have tried to drown myself, feeding off blood & booze. But even my dazed nightmares wouldn't leave me. It kills me, to see you with Stefan, laughing, joking with him. Is it wrong to want a part of that? Elena, why did you have to come, wreck my half a life, like some apparition from my past; I can't get away! I am doomed. How can I make you mine? I threatened you, bit you, and exchanged blood. But do I have your heart? You don't want my fantasies, the dreams. You don't want me. What's going to stop me from killing some more people? Why stop feeding off human blood? Where is the inspiration: My muse? I am what I am. You won't accept the human in me. Then I will be the monster, the world wants me to be. I will hunt, kill, and hunt again. I am a predator. Elena............ I could have been the human I was once; I could have been ......., for you ... For you Elena.......................................................... “
Damon Salvatore’s P.O.V

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